Whenever the opportunity arises, I am quick to tell listeners that, after two kids, a step kid and three grandchildren, I now have more than a houseful of Akitas; and I have never been happier. I love my human relatives, but the dogs are such a pleasure to have around . . . all the time.
Parenting is arguably the toughest job in life – especially considering how little training we have before entering into that responsibility. Granted, babysitting helps us learn how to change diapers, feed meals and do other routine tasks. But what kind of training can prepare people for the most important job of their lives?
I tell those who contemplate starting a family to acquire a puppy, raise it and take it to every class they can find for at least the first year of the puppy’s life. They will experience in a shortened time span many of the things they must deal with as parents. The similarity is uncanny.
In my classes, the students who had their children first stand out among the other novices. When a parent tells his or her child to sit, the usual routine is something like, “Sit . . . . I said sit . . . . Would you please sit down? Sit down now. If you don’t sit down, I am going to tell your mom/dad, and then you’re really going to get it. Oh, please just sit down.” Does that sound familiar? Those poor harried veterans of parenthood are lucky to have survived with their sanity intact sometimes. So, it is understandable that they are willing to repeat a command several times, until the dog finally realizes that mom or dad is merely asking it to sit.
Then there is the “stay” command. Fido is staying as commanded, but the experienced parents, so battle weary, will continue to say the command over and over. Their parenting experience has taught them that continuously reminding the child is necessary to enforce the child’s time out. I really feel their pain for I, too, raised kids before I really learned how to train dogs. I have since learned in short order that threats, idle or not, serve no real purpose. The best negative reinforcement is the withholding of attention. Pretend to ignore the dog. Try it on your kids too!
Of course, the translation from dealing with dogs to dealing with kids requires certain modifications, but see if the dog/child tries several previously successful means to get your attention. With the dog, once he or she gives up and sits down, you immediately praise and reward the behavior. Practice over time will convince Fido that the best way to get your attention is to sit in front of you. How you use this technique with your kid is up to you.
One major difference between raising children and raising dogs is that you can reason with your kid . . . right? Come on now, when was any adult successful in reasoning with a toddler? I am even more amused with those humans who do try to reason with their dogs. After a good three minute lecture, the reassurance comes when the dog comes up and licks your face, while the kid goes right back to his or her previous activities. At least the dog leaves with you with a positive feeling of unrequited love and devotion.
Training dogs helps us understand how to use positive reinforcement and minimize the negatives. Beating Fido with a rolled up newspaper merely shreds the newspaper and makes Fido afraid of the paper, and barehanded swats or spanks hurt our hands more than Fido’s bottom. Furthermore, continued use of swats makes Fido afraid of the hand.
So, we learn more creative ways of handling unacceptable situations. Yes, we even employ time outs for the dogs. Again, we pretend to ignore the dog, but the necessary time out is usually only 30 seconds on the average. Quite often we look to refocus the dog’s attention away from unacceptable behavior to an acceptable activity.
When I have done pet behavior counsel sessions for members of the human counseling fields, I am amused when they tell me that what I tell them is almost exactly what they recommend to their patients. However, I am sure they delve a lot deeper than I do. The basics, though, are really similar.
All of these rudimentary techniques are taught in a good puppy kindergarten class. Now wouldn’t it be nice to have your four-year-old child “heel” obediently by your side as you proceed through the mall?
